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A Bad Sign

Remember those yellow “Baby on Board” signs that were suction-cupped to every station wagon back in the 90’s? They fell out of vogue when people figured out that accidents were, uh, accidents, and the presence of the sign didn’t make a lot of difference except to those who were psychotic and left the house that morning thinking “I’m gonna wreck me some cars carrying babies…”, and in that case, the sign was a liability because it made you an easy target.

I’ve also seen bumper stickers that said “TEEN DRIVER”. Apparently that kid never thought of covering it up with duct tape and peeling the duct tape of when he got home. His sign should say “SLOW CHILDREN DRIVING”.

Last week, though, I think I saw the worst of it. I was tooling down a four lane street and swung into the left lane to pass a sky-blue Saturn. As I did, I noticed a sign in the rear window – hand lettered, at that. It read “Senior Driver”. I did a double take, and sure enough, there was a guy behind the wheel older than John McCain.

I couldn’t help but wonder – did his children put the sign there? I tried to imagine the uncomfortable conversation that predicated that one. “Dad, we think you’re a little dangerous. Not dangerous enough to pull you off the road, but you know, just a little scary, so we’ve made you a sign.”

Or even weirder, did he make the sign HIMSELF? “Martha, I’m tired of hearing those horns non stop. If I just put up a sign, they’ll give me some slack!”.

I guess the universal sign of the Enternal Blinker just doesn’t cut it anymore.

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One Response

  1. I used to want a sign that said “I’m Sorry” because I’m such a lousy driver… I drive with great shame.

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